On November 5, 2017 I started wondering if I should begin correcting people on the pronouns. Not saying anything saves me from extra trouble and awkwardness, I suppose. But yeah… I was misgendered again. The worst part – they got it right and then they corrected themselves. And I don’t get why. This same question keeps killing me. I guess I will only know the answer when I change something about myself and then see if the misgendering stops.
I would’ve said that keeping quiet is to avoid discomfort. To save me from discomfort. But that’s not right. Correcting people is awkward, at most. Discomfort follows every time I get misgendered. Especially when someone loudly greets you in public with ‘sister’. And I just can’t get over it. It’s difficult to assert myself still. Fear is also always following. I guess I still don’t feel like a rightful member of… my kind? If that makes any sense.
I find physical transition a breeze compared to social transition. It’s just so much more difficult than any needles, procedures, or even surgeries. I can’t say much about surgeries yet though, but I am pretty sure that will be easier. Most likely, it will also ease the social awkwardness and discomfort in the future.
On November 8, 2017 I sent back my gc2b binder for exchange. They have already shipped the binder I need just as they promised. I swear, awesome customer service and they’re super nice and kind! However, it is the mail services I don’t trust. They are going to take forever again, probably. But it is worth the wait! The smaller size binder should fit me this time, hopefully.
If all is good with the sizing, I am definitely ordering from gc2b again in the near future. Having more than one binder is very helpful when you need to wash it, or in case anything else happens. And if you have a change, the life of the binder is also longer.
On November 9, 2017 my voice sounded a little different. Yet again. And it’s the end of the month, a day before my next testosterone (T) shot. That’s when T levels are supposed to be the lowest. It is also almost 10 months on T! But my voice is still changing. It’s not a huge difference, but I can hear it. When is it going to stop? Nobody knows!
On November 10, 2017 it was time for my monthly T shot. And it hurt a bit. I injected into my left thigh and for some reason (like 99% of the time) it is always a bit painful when I do it in my left thigh. But it’s nothing too bad. Funny part is, I am always excited to get my T shot. And when it was time, I almost forgot about it.
Overall, I’m feeling great when it comes to my physical transition and T injections. There are other things I still want and need to change, but can’t yet. I just need to keep working towards those goals.
Eventually, I’ll be there.