On October 10, 2017 I had someone refer to me as ‘he’. I never told them anything, so that made me wonder if someone else did. Either way, it’s cool. But later I also had two people going back and forth with ‘he’ and ‘she’. One of them hasn’t known me for very long so they probably already assumed I’m a guy to begin with, and the other still thinks I’m a girl since they have known me before I started testosterone (T). Fun. And Awkward.
Later I encountered a bunch of dudes in an elevator. One of them gave me this… look. I don’t know how to explain it. That’s how normally they look at girls though. And he greeted me, so I was polite and responded. That’s when he kind of lost all interest. It’s funny. I think it’s the voice.
On October 11, 2017 I found out that more people know about me at work. And I don’t remember ever telling them. Unless I forgot. But that’s unlikely. I think someone else told them. Either way, it’s cool. They’re all cool with it. And they even try to get the pronouns right. It’s awesome. Unlike some people who seem to completely disregard my whole journey and don’t even try.
Also a certain someone who already assumed I’m a guy, I think, saw me leave the female bathroom at work. Such a bad timing. I feel awkward going there to begin with, but going to the male bathroom is also going to be awkward since not everyone knows what’s going on. Growing a mustache and having a deep voice isn’t enough for people to grasp it. I mean, I get it. Some people really don’t know about these things. I just wonder if I will stay there long enough to have to finally address this bathroom issue.
Outside of work, actually no. Outside of the office itself, I always go to the male bathroom. But even then I still feel really self-conscious. Just in case someone thinks I don’t belong there. Some people still read me as female. What the hell? Maybe it’s the chest and the fatrolls. I hope my new binder will do a good job! Still waiting for it to arrive, all the way from the US.
On October 13, 2017 it was 9 months on T. I went to see my doctor and get my blood test done. I was greeted with a Miss. But afterwards most people referred to me as Sir, despite seeing my legal name and, most likely, the sex on file. It also took me a while to grasp I was being called when someone called me by my legal first name. I guess, it just doesn’t feel like me at all anymore. Plus I am always called by my nickname or my chosen name everywhere else, even at work.
My blood test results turned out great. My doctor was pretty impressed by my voice changes too. I have also been keeping my skin clear of acne, which is good. Apparently, it can be a problem to the point it’s not… healthy? Either way, my next appointment is in another 6 months only. My body is really doing good with T, so I don’t need anything else. I was given T for those 6 months and went on my merry way!
Last week, I thought there might not be much to say anymore on a weekly basis, but look at this post! I guess, at times there will be more things to talk about. Physically, however, there’s not a lot happening lately. I mean, no new spectacular changes are happening. Of course, there will be more changes still. It hasn’t even been a year yet and some things happen way later. I guess, my beard will come later too. I have hair growing on my face. Almost all over it including my neck. But it’s still mostly light and soft.
Overall, I feel great. I never regretted taking T. It’s awesome. I feel more like myself each day. And my body just feels like this is what it’s been waiting for. The extra juice to finally be what it was meant to be.