May 5, 2017

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On April 30, 2017 I noticed a few pimples peeking out. And that’s it. It’s been very minor with no major skin issues. It keeps surprising me, but I should just be glad I’m not having any problems.

Then there are t-shirts. I have many awesome t-shirts, but some of them are more fitting than others. Or should I say… more revealing? Wearing them doesn’t help. So from now on I should probably go for certain materials (usually thicker ones) and bigger sizes. Double layers also help, but it’s gonna be way too hot.

I was also wondering if my dislike for necklaces might be related to my top dysphoria. But I’ll have to wait until surgery to find out.

On May 1, 2017 my voice seemed to sound even lower. However, I must be patient and wait until it settles down. But what’s truly lovely are my veins on my hands. They pop out much more often than ever before and I admit I find it hot.

I was also wondering if I could have a longer hairstyle. But the longer it is, the more maintenance it needs. My hair seems so unruly when it gets longer, and it waves away to whichever direction it wants. Need to use a lot of products and spend a lot of time fixing it. Also I usually get annoyed when it gets longer and want to cut it anyway.

On May 5, 2017 I didn’t notice anything new. I’ve been wondering about my voice though. It seems that I still need some practice to use it properly, and I am not sure how it sounds to other people. I mean, I seem to sound kinda weird at times. Maybe it’s because I am still trying to use a higher tone when I try to speak louder. My voice kind of disappears then.

I am hitting my 4th month now, and it feels like it’s been forever. I am also getting more annoyed by any misgendering that happens, but I don’t want to bother with it. Some people assume I’m a guy already, others are still trippin’. And those who know what’s up are still using female pronouns. It’s up to me to figure this out eventually. As I gain more confidence and change even more, I have to explain to certain people that things have to change.

#JourneyToMyself

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