February 24, 2017

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I had a big voice drop. I woke up with a sore throat, but I didn’t have my hopes high about my voice staying down. I also had only a very slight soreness in my thigh where I injected the testosterone (T).

My voice went kind of crazy. I mean, I compared it to sounding like Bane from the Batman movie. It’s been randomly going up and down while I was talking and it felt like it was mutating, but I wasn’t sure if that’s going to stay that way, or not.

I could still feel a very minor soreness in my thigh, but it went away very soon. I also noticed more spotting, but it was very minor and the period did not show up yet.

My voice sounded like I had a cold. Which I actually did, but my voice never actually sounds like that even with a cold. It seemed to be ranging between higher and lower tones. I was actually test-driving my voice with singing. It was also quite… cracky. Which I found kinda hot. Also there was more spotting again, but no period.

My voice was seriously cracking down even more. It seemed to be getting more permanent. I sounded funny and weird at times, but I was really glad about it. I spent the whole evening singing and doing voice recordings until my throat felt sore, and I kind of started losing my voice completely by the time I went to bed. It was like… getting a new toy and it was difficult to stop playing with it. And it felt like I had a subwoofer attached to my vocal chords, or a bass turned up.

My voice was still down. It was alright, despite the previous singing sessions. I could talk in the morning just fine. But I was feeling a bit shy to talk to people, because my voice was cracking all over the place. I guess, subconsciously I was still trying to talk in a higher tone to people I see every day, especially those who don’t even know I’m transitioning. I didn’t want to appear as some sort of weirdo, I guess.

Another thing I’ve noticed in the morning was the scent of my urine. It appeared to be a bit different than usual, but I am not sure if that’s because of the T, or because I am sick and been consuming quite a bit of medicine. Also I was a bit dehydrated. If it’s really changed I’ll notice it sooner or later anyway.

Finally, my hunger seems alright. I am not too hungry. Just can’t wait to lose this cold, and hear and feel my voice set in even more.

I’ll be fine.

#JourneyToMyself

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