February 17, 2017

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On February 12, 2017 I had to compare my voice drop occurrences to morning woods. It was happening every morning and I had to clear my throat a lot. It also seemed like my voice would stay in the lower range for a longer time. But maybe that was also because I was barely talking, so my voice had time to marinate itself. Yes, I’m very witty.

On February 13, 2017 there were more voice fluctuations to observe. Plus more porn and more acne. But then I had quite a bit of chocolate recently. That might have affected it. At least, I’ve heard before that certain foods such as chocolate may cause acne. I continued to use my anti-acne products as usual.

On February 16, 2017 I left without letting my family know about my transition. I just did not feel that it was a good idea to let them know. Especially my mother. In a way it was sad that I couldn’t just tell them, but it is as it is. I knew they will find out eventually, but I needed another way to let them know.

The most important lesson I learned here is that there is no right or wrong way to let my family know. And that I am not obliged to do it, if I’m not comfortable with it.

I needed to assess the situation, and I did. From what I’ve seen, it just wasn’t a good idea to do it. Even if I was determined to do it before. My family just hasn’t grown as I did, and hasn’t gotten to that point that I’ve imagined. I felt better having them at a distance.

Later that day, I noticed a slight spotting. I thought maybe it’s the period, even if it wasn’t the time for it yet. It was weird. It wasn’t anything strong, could just barely see it. It did not escalate and I did not feel anything at all. Normally I can feel it coming. Also my voice went back up again.

On February 17, 2017 I returned back home and it was time for my 5th testosterone (T) shot. I was feeling really happy about being back. Despite the long, tiring and uncomfortable journey, I stayed up really late and just enjoyed being home alone. I even went grocery shopping on the same day after shower and my T shot.

My T shot went well, except it was a bit painful. I’ve noticed that whenever I inject into my left thigh it’s slightly painful. I’m not sure why. If I inject into my right thigh I barely feel anything. Maybe I do it differently since I’m right-handed and I switch hands too when injecting into my left thigh. Either way, it wasn’t too painful and I was good to go.

I noticed a continuation of random spotting, but the period did not start. I guess it will begin to be annoying like that from now on. And I might not see it coming like before. It will go away eventually, but to avoid problems a surgery is necessary sometime in the future.

I feel like I need a bit more time to feel alright again after my trip. To heal. To gather my strength. Emotionally and physically, because yay… I also caught a cold.

I hope for things to get better soon.

#JourneyToMyself

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